Tuesday, August 30, 2011
i love this blog, but there's no privacy here and too much spam so i've moved to wordpress.
there's been so many memories. thus, i'm still keeping the post, but if you guys wanna continue stalking my life. the link is given below.
i need to keep certain stuff private i grew up.. sorry:(
11:18 PM
Thursday, August 25, 2011
ITS THE HOLIDAYS FOR ME!:D
it started off with a blast, hanging out with my STC FRIENDS!
and i long long sleep of about 15 hrs.
and tomorrow i'm gonna be hanging out with my poly friends!:D how awesome is that?
what a life. i need to sleep soon. i wish i could sleep forever.
10:42 PM
Thursday, August 18, 2011
I've made up my mind about one tiny obstacle of life, and now i just to face loads more. How much more pressure can a person take in terms of choosing what is right for him/her.
I cant concentrate cause i feel dam bad. Its lile i'm neglecting what i am suppose to do. But if i turn to that direction, there is a high chance i will start neglecting my studies. Cause it takes up alot of my time and it requires too much brain power that after completing the tast, i'm like a living being without a soul. What should i do?
Seriously, this is a very sensitive topic to me, it gets me soo emotional and i have no reason to explain why. Maybe, cause i treasure this covenant? Ahhhh! I should really stop thinking about it.
I know that i will regret if i quit, but if i dont i may take the opportunity to blame it for giving me such low results. I'm in a mess. A mess that can never be clean up:(
Oh gosh, if only there was someone who understands me and give me good advice on how to cope with this dilema.
12:45 AM
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Honestly, stc friends are not the same as poly friends. I miss my STC mates. All those retarded moments and being childish with them.
And i miss my JC friends. All those memories of doing pure human labour and being able to help others grow. Not forgetting my church friends like siao siao. I Miss studying together with her and tfy during my o lvl period, watching movies too. If only i can rewind back into the past.
Thank GOD for pam and teresa being in the same course as me, i think without them i most probably be a different person in poly now. At least, some of my sane self is still kept intact!
5:33 PM
On my way home and i've decided that i should blog.
Okay, i have blocked every single ppl i've known from YSA. Well, thats cause i want my life to be more private. I got alt of things to deal with and i dont think anyone truly understand what i am going through.
Exams exams, biophysics FT is over and i can guarantee you, that i wont get a B. Thus that means no more uni for me, unless i buck up real hard for next semester, which means, less play, more studying. I got to keep focus u know? On top of that i am sure that my commis will be graded as B/C and ENPS a C. I suck at presenting and pracrical. Seriously need to get my head in the game.
Thus, i really wanna be a part of YSA but i know it will also be a disttaction for me, cause not doing the assign task given in JC makes me worried and i feel bad. And my heart be spilt into two, not giving full attention to both work i am supposed to do. But without JC will i still be the same catholic girl i am today?
I've got much to pownder about, as a student, i really feel that education is my top pirority and not doing church work. It's not like i am saying i am totally given up on God, because i know i still love him and the covenant can never be broken. Any idea what should i do? I need advice before i start making this nig dissicion to quit or stay on.
But for now, i'm putting my ministry work on hold, so that i can focus on my exams. I am afraid of dailing and not getting the ideal gpa, but worst come to worst, next sem i am gonna be a nerd. And i dont care what ppl say. And thats just the way i roll. :)
Gambatte!:)
5:20 PM
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
I wonder who was the one who started calling me a bitch first? And whats the point of saying it to yr face? Things dont change yea?
1:29 PM
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Thanks fellow mate for asking and wanting to help, but i cant tell u everything.:( i want too, but i cant. U gotta understamd that i feel disturbed whenever i see father now. I wished mum never tell.
Still annoyed with my sister, she still not apologizing for what she did. Come'on girl, i told you not to and u still wore it. U lied about the wallet thingy and o apology from u. What a sister u are and u rather listen to aaron teo? Maybe he should seriously be yr bf. On a second note, maybe not. Since he asked you to disobey me. So whatever since both of u think i am a bitch and selfish! Thats just what u are gonna get from me. Well, maybe i should have been selfish all the way and not lend u my CDs and my GUITAR PICKS in the first place.
I think i should just quit seriously, i aint fit to be in that group while i am shouting vulgarities all over the place. I cant even handle my life, and u aspect me to help others? What kind of a teacher i am? How can i be mentoring the youth when i, myself is living a fucked up life?
Do u know how it feels like, when u see yr classmates studying and your the only one who dont seem to give a damn? It feels horrible. Its like i'm lacking behind in my studies, it makes you wanna study. Thats how i feel. And when i dont have the mood to study, while others are studying. Stress comes in and te feeling is so shitty. Thats how i feel most of the days, nowadays.
In conclusion, life sucks. I wisg i was back in secondary school where i had good friends who knows how to relax and study at the same time. While in poly, everyone seems to be a mugger, and to keep up with them i have to srudy 24/7. What a life i have?
10:35 PM
Am i that bad?
I know how it feels to loose a friend, i lost one for a few months before, but we patched up. And the feeling sucks. I cant bear to loose you too. It just sucks knowing that i'm soo horrible. I guess different ppl hav dfferent liking.
Some friends prefer joking, so i'm able to irritate them as much as i want without thinking. Guess, ur not the joking kind, i respect that. Soo sorry:( i wont joke as much over this kind of stuff, since i know what yr like. I'm so sorry. Will u forgive me?
10:19 PM
HAPPY 46TH BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE.
I would say that i am blessed to live in the country as there's no natural disaster
and it has a stable economy. on the other hand, i think the government should level down the expectation of education. it is really stress being a student in Singapore. there's so many things to study about, and education qualification seems to be the only thing that the working world take into account while applying a job other than the fact of being able to be literate in English.
well, my sister is being in a pain in the ass,
seriously, i specifically told her not to wear that sneakers and she wore.
i mean what if it gets dirty? it is leather by the way.
i know u say that u guys(wardens) plan the route. but with father around there is a chance that pair of shoe may get dirty. i am so not risking it.
moreover, whats the point of wearing nice shoe while going for a night walk, no one is gonna look? and on top of that, whats the point of being so fussy about how ur hair looks when its gonna get greasy sooner or later.
so if u think i'm selfish so be it?
another case, my sis lied about not bringing her wallet and asking me to lend her money at first i said no. and her friend, tfw, went something like "guess ur plan din work" and she said it was a joke. so how could it be a joke if it was plan out? explain yourself.moreover its not like i wont lend when u say you do not have enough right? and you're doing this just so that you can go out with ur other friends. like wthhh. if your broke, just admit it and stay home. you could study you know? not as if yr so damn smart that you don't need to study. come'on i ain't that dumb. the way you act seems like you want to portray me as the evil sister who doesn't care. which is so not true. if i didn't give a damn, would i advice you about yr career path, get you a pre-paid cut when mum cut the phone lines. use ur brain,seriously? or is it filled with junk like the amount of junk food u eat?
oh well, so think before you talk.
if you think they are assumptions, so be it. YOU BRAT.
thus, in conclusion yr punishment, is to return me back my stuff, and not used/touch my things without permission. until, u realize yr mistake and learn how to respect me properly.
p.s i don't care if you are reading this. it's my blog. freedom of speech.
1:15 AM
Sunday, August 7, 2011
I just did something horrible o my close friend:(
Well, i din know it will made her soo angry with me, to me its a joke, but i guess it is not. I hacked into her fb, and change her dp and self proclaim that she was an alien. Ahhh! I'm soo sorry:( i think i am just to use to playing pranks and all sort of rubbish.
I donno what to do now, and obviously ur friendship means alot to me. Yr like my younger sister. :pls forgive me, i am seriously sorry.
11:27 AM
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Soo, its ur birthday tomorrow.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOM!
all the best for ur upcoming exams too! God Bless!
On another note,
Eltech, biophysics is driving me nuts!:( three more weeks to exam and i can guarantee you i am NOT prepared! Seems like my routine of doing all my online assignments isnt working as plan. But its not a choice! Its a must do! It affects my GPA! And i aim for at least a 3.8? But i doubt i'll reach it. At most a 3.5? Screw every single practical, seriously, its a disaster!
New stratergy,
Write loads of notes for my modules, only after completing the online tutorials. Even a 1% makes alot of differents to my entire grade. And with such high hopes, i need to focus more. If that even means not to do my JC stuff.
But Father, i still trust in you and believe you. Thus, a promise that Once i am done with studies i will do more work for you. And i will try my very best not to swear even if the catholics around me swears. I will pray everyday. And read the bible to ensure that my faith relationahip with you will never fade. This may be only words. Henceforth, my actions shall do what i said to do. Besides, a covenant with you will never fade.
8:29 PM
